I've got my memories
They're always inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
Snow flakes tickle her face as Jaina stares up into the starlit sky. Arms spread open wide, she twirls and laughs as if in some modern artsy dance. For the first time in days, she feels free. The media circus is kilometers away, left behind with worries over the Jedi and Daala and Moffs. Down here at the bottom of the world, she's alone.
Well, almost alone. A snowball whizzes past her, missing her ear by a centimeter or two. She ducks down to grab a handful of snow in her glove clad hands and in the same smooth motion, molds it into a ball and throws. It hits her target dead center and as a reward, Jaina's treated to a rare smile on a typically grim looking face.
It's a smile that melts her heart, a smile that makes her feel loved. For once, the galaxy isn't on the brink of destruction. For once, she can step away from her responsibilities as a Jedi for one weekend of frivolous joy. After nearly two decades of fighting in catastrophic and costly battles, the only foe Jaina faces today is the harsh chilly bite of the southern winds.
For a few moments, as she watches Jag prepare another snowball attack, she allows herself to drift away. If she closes her eyes, she can almost remember her last trip to Coruscant's southern pole. A Solo family get away, before the invasion, before all the loss. She had been a child then, as much as a child as she ever could be. She can hear Anakin yelling at her and Jacen, not wanting to be left behind in their tauntaun races. The way her father laughed and the way, just this once, her Leia Organa Solo was a mother and not a politician.
Cold snow crashing on her leg brings her back to reality. Jaina opens her eyes to stare up into concerned green ones. A hand holds her face in place as she studies the serious expression on her fiancee's face.
"It's nothing, Jag," she answers quickly. An uncharacteristic display of sentiment, she decides. It's nothing worth their time. The present, bloah, even the future is the important thing to focus on now. Not a past she can't change. But the quirk of his eyebrow indicates he doesn't believe her and Jaina sighs. "I was just remembering."
Jaina closes her eyes and leans against him. Her head tucks neatly under his chin as he holds her tight to his chest. It's become a rare occasion when they can escape the spotlight. The whole galaxy sees them as a Jedi and an Imperial, a partnership that contradicts most norms. They don't know the details, the delicate intricacies of their fifteen year courtship that wove them together. It's not a relationship of convenience and it's most certainly not a political maneuvering.
It's a matter of feeling safe for the first time in years. Of feeling loved and accepted in every way possible.
Jag gently tilts her chin upward again so she can't escape his gaze. Jaina rolls her eyes, scowling at him and his persistance before finally admitting: "I was remembering my last trip here. The last time I felt like I had a home before today."